Tomorrow is Liam's first birthday, while the fifth was my 38th. Finances are tight, but if wishes were fishes I'd have his portrait taken tomorrow. Yes, my son has me wrapped around his fingers, and every time I look at him I count myself as utterly blessed. He's a healthy, happy boy full of curiosity and creative problem-solving, and if he only knew how much hearing him say "mama" gets to me, I'd be doomed.
I can't help but remenisce about this time last year. I chuckle to think about how I had wanted to have a natural child birth, but wisely chose to fill out the paperwork for an epidural just in case. Boy, howdy, did contractions convince me that I wanted a pain reliever! At about five in the morning, after a sleepless night of finding it futile to play Soduku let alone find succor in breathing techniques, my husband drove me over to the hospital and I was happily admitted. With only being dialated 2 cm, the nurse had me walk the floor for an hour, which really meant waddling with frequent pauses when a contraction hit. When I got back, I was 4 cm and happily took the epidural they offered.
The movies I've seen were wrong. Peace prevailed in the delivery room, and while my husband was there, my mother-in-law showed up later in the morning, and my own mother later still. I dozed and was rolled over on occasion while watching the news and chatting. There wasn't a care in the world, though secretly I was scared to death because a little human being was about to come into the world, and he would be completely dependant on me...me, a woman who had never been a mother before!
By 1:10 in the afternoon, the nurse asked if I was ready to deliver. Although I was feeling pressure periodically, I looked at her and said quite honestly, "I don't know, am I?" Yes, she said to me, the pitocin had worked and I was having contractions two minutes apart (or was it three?). We got me into the position, got the room geared up, pulled in another nurse, and did about four practice pushes before the nurse said, "Okay, you can stop. You're ready to go, and I've got to get the doctor." My female OBGYN barely had time to suit up when she got into the room, because after three pushes I had my son in my arms and I was nursing him while my husband cut the umbilical cord.
Since then, even though he can get cranky, and has his days, I've found nothing but joy with my son. He's taught me (and is still teaching me) how to be a mother, and that playing with children's toys can be fun even at my age. And though may have some rough days, he always, always makes me look at the bright side, I have him...and it's amazing to be loved so unconditionally.
No comments:
Post a Comment